Working

My "get-up-and-go" has apparently "got-up-and-went". I've been having difficulty recently caring about doing much of anything. Even the very basic things. I still get up and go to work, although I'm working for a company that's not in business any longer, and is in the winding-down process, which has seemingly been going on for the last two years. And I seriously don't know when it will all actually end. I just know that there are days when I can't stand to come to work - because there's literally NO work to do.

And I know, I KNOW, some of you are thinking "Holy Cow! That's an ideal situation! Getting paid for doing nothing!" I'm here to tell you - it stinks. Sure, it's nice sometimes. But day after day? In reality, not so much. I think of how my skills are diminishing. How I don't have anything to look forward to to make me want to come to work. How I have to pay sooo much in taxes, since I don't have anything taken out of my paycheck any longer. (When you're working and have those taxes taken out of your paycheck that you complain about - just stop it now. When you just get a straight check paid to you with nothing taken out - it means YOU are solely responsible for paying ALL the taxes. And any company you work for pays a portion of those taxes - be grateful for that fact!) And even how I feel guilty for wanting to leave before it's all over because of my personal feelings of stagnating.

It's that old rock and a hard place situation. You're durned if you do and danged if you don't. All I know is that something has got to give, before I decide to take myself to the doctor, and politely demand to be put back on antidepressants again. At least then I might be able to drop some of the poundage I've put on over the last several years. I do remember that the Wellbutrin I took helped me drop 35 pounds - that's one side effect I can go for!

And here I thought I'd be doing better due to the longer days and more sunshine out there!